There were these two friends I met. They sat gazing at eachother. They gave each other syrupy smiles and squeezed each other tightly. "Well, how old are you?" I asked. "I'm twenty," he said, "and she is eighteen." "But why does age really matter anyway?" the young man chimed in. "We love each other, and we're right for each other. Everything in our hearts tells us we should be together."
So how old should two people be when they marry? That depends on many factors-maturity level, ability to earn a living, progress in education, and so on. But we can say for sure that, statistically, marriages seem to be much more stable when they begin no earlier than the mid-twenties. As a matter of fact, a recent study indicates that the most stable marriages of all have a "starting date" of twenty-eight years of age. Divorce rates are lowest for men and women who marry for the first time at age 28 or later. The chances for a stable marriage increase as both partners reach the age of 30 and then the rates level off".
The divorce rate for those who marry at twenty-one or twenty-two is exactly double the divorce rate for those who marry at twenty-four or twenty-five. Self-identity has to be the reason. Sometimes the self-identifying task takes even longer than twenty-five years. It's not uncommon for two middle-aged persons to marry with little understanding of who they are as individuals. When your identity process is well developed - when you are clearly in touch with the person you truly are - the task of selecting the right marriage partner becomes significantly easier.
